The power of surrender is a large subject to discuss. I'm not sure how to tackle the whole of it, but I had a simple reminder of it and I want to mention it.
Recently a friend told me about a situation he was upset about.
He felt like the situation he was in was unjust. If he were in charge he would have handled the situation and the people involved in a different way. In other words he was resisting reality.
He asked me what I thought about the situation and I acknowledged how upset he sounded but I also pointed out that he was suffering because he was letting himself be upset about something he had no control over. I wasn't going to feed the situation because I too had no control over it.
Something must have opened up for him because later on I saw him experiencing the outcome he was hoping to have, just maybe a different form of it.
Life is such a dance between will and surrender.
There is a time for willful action. In my friend's case, the only willful action he had available to him was quitting the situation entirely and I don't think he was interested in that. He could have tried conscious communication or metta as other forms of action. He did get upset and voice about his frustration which is a form of action. And I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet but maybe on some level he made the willful action of surrender.
The question itself can be the prayer or intention. So rather than feeling run down by a situation it can be empowering. I was talking to my teacher Richard Miller about a feeling of longing I was experiencing and he helped me identify it as longing and pointed out to me that the longing is my teacher and it's there for me to give voice to and experience. Much different than resisting or hiding in it or feeling victimized by it.
It's funny because I'm talking a lot about surrendering to life but at the same time how often have you heard someone feel so disempowered by life? "Why does this always happen to me?" "This has nothing to do with me!" "These people are against me!" "I'm always getting sick." So on one hand surrender is powerful, but it's surrender with awareness that's powerful. Awareness of resistance. Awareness of separation, which is the other thing that I would say causes suffering. As soon as I learned that every person is me, that every thing I saw in someone else is something I was actually seeing in myself, my suffering diminished considerably. These issues that we resist or feel separated by are opportunities to come back into flow and connection. Triggers are beautiful teachers. That thing that triggers you about that 'other' person, identify it! Give it a name. And consider, is that very thing something that I'm uncomfortable with in myself? Same goes for the things we love about other people. Identify that thing and acknowledge that you embody that very quality, so own it!
We are truly in power when we recognize how inherently connected everything is and simultaneously how little control we have.
Life isn't our enemy. Life presents to us what we're ready to work with and then we dance with it, surrendering into willful action, and making the willful act of surrender.
Resistance causes suffering. And consciously being with whatever there is to be with even if we don't like it, helps it move on. Maybe not the way we imagine, and often better than we could imagine.
Speaking of metta as a form of willful action I do recall a coworker who hated me! Wouldn't talk to me, interact with me or acknowledge me at all. There was no room to communicate about the issue. And it's not like I needed to be best friends or anything but I thought it was strange that such a block was present and it seemed so unnecessary. So there I was resisting reality. So after months of this I started giving metta (lovingkindness) to myself and him. Because it wasn't really about me or him, it was just the situation. Prayer doesn't have to be forced or doctrine based, it's just another way of interacting with reality. I let go of the outcome and the relationship and just channeled my energy into the metta instead. So that was a willful act of surrender. Pretty soon after, a couple of weeks or so, he started talking to me and soon after that would joke around at work with me.
Things like being grateful and metta are such a simple way of enhancing your own programming of reality. It's like saying, "I don't have to be in control of what's happening but I can remind myself when I'm grateful and that energy is available to me."
There are many versions of metta, but I like this simple one that I learned from Jurian Hughes back in 2008.
May I love myself with every breath I take.
May I know that I have everything I need.
May I be truly happy.
Saying it for self is the most important because people see themselves reflected through us. And our Self is all we see when we are seeing ourselves reflected in others. So start with self.
Then you can interchange the word "I" for whoever you'd like. Give everyone a turn if you feel like it. Mom, Dad, other family members, friends, enemies. When I say this metta for each person, I picture and feel the person and feel the connection we have. You can also expand this for the community you live in, or any community in the world and the world itself. It's a simple, expansive practice that makes me feel great. Try it for yourself and notice how it makes you feel.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Lies about Truths.
Disclaimer: This is a subject that I am very much humbled to write about and I understand my experience is limited and my voice represents only one of hundreds of thousands. But I crave to see more writing on the subject so I'm doing my part. I know there are many of you that have different experiences so if you feel like sharing, please enlighten me! If you catch me speaking inaccurately, please call me on my shit!
Kripalu.
I didn't originally understand this word, this yoga. All I knew is it was the only style of yoga available to me in mid-MO that seemed more profound than 'just exercise'. I remember taking my first Kripalu style class and being shocked that we didn't even do one downward-facing dog. I didn't know what to think but I was compelled by the peace I was coming to in my body and I found myself curiously inquiring into the memories my body was releasing as a result of the practice. As the practice took me deeper into myself and letting go of (spiritual/emotional/physical) pain I carried, I was so compelled that I actually went to live at the Kripalu Center for a more intensive study. Learning to be my own guru was not easy at first. I wanted someone to give me answers. I wanted someone to see me better than I could see myself. But instead of being told what to do I was listened to and encouraged to listen to myself. Now that I am continually searching for a yoga community in the huge metro-area of Kansas City that's exactly what I'm not finding-a teacher who gives me space to listen to myself. Now I can't believe my good fortune that I was able to find an active Kripalu community in Columbia, MO.
I think it's interesting the way opposites tend to be related. I love being around people in a process of dealing or healing because I enjoy seeing how the type of healing is related to the scar. How the magnitude of healing corresponds with the amount of pain. Something like trauma or addiction is a huge blessing in this way and some of the most powerfully loving and inspiring yogis I know are those who have overcome addiction or explored trauma as a part of their life's calling. It goes the other way too, of course. Some of the most awake and aware people I know also have a huge unawareness, a blind spot.
I've recently become curious, moreso than usual, about the Kripalu stories from the ashram days. Back then the guru wasn't the Self, it was Amrit Desai, a very powerful man who channels quite a bit of shakti. The practices of yoga allow us to cultivate and carry large amounts of voltage and he carried so much that people loved him and felt seen and loved by him in a way that was very universally powerful and healing for them but also put them under his power. This much power, without self awareness, can get unwieldy. Ultimately I believe Kripalu overcame this scar and this is why communication and self-awareness are hallmarks of the practice. So the scar was a blessing. When I think about my relationship with my Kripalu lineage, I feel the power of Swami Kripalu's blessing on the lineage and on the world, not the charisma that Amrit attempted to inflict on it.
I don't have much firsthand knowledge of Amrit. I will say though that I was living in the building when he passed through for a visit. It was 2009 and he hadn't been there since 1995 when he was kicked out for taking advantage of his role as guru. On this particular day I was just minding my own business, hanging out in my dorm. There was not a chance I could have known Amrit was coming, as it was a near-impossibility. But suddenly I 'needed' to go to the cafe. I grabbed my computer, and went there even though I didn't know why. Then I 'needed' to fill my waterbottle. My body walked to the water fountain and I was fascinated by how these mundane tasks seemed so meaningful. Suddenly I looked up to my left and there he was! Flanked by his wife and Dinabhandu who was the ceo at the time. I thought to myself, "Holy shit, that's Amrit Desai!" He was a radiant old man and it was unmistakeably him. I gazed at him and he gazed at me. For maybe five seconds. Afterward, it felt like I had been filled with some powerful wattage. I buzzed for the rest of the day and it took me a long time to fall asleep that night. So that was from the most miniscule interaction. I feel the surge of energy just from writing about it! I can't even imagine how powerful it must have felt like to be his disciple. Also, what it must feel like to carry around that much intense power that is so influenced by intention and attention. Anyway, the whole of Kripalu felt the intensity of the visit because he brought with him a storm. An intense storm that flooded the basement of the huge guest center and knocked down a very old tree, if I remember correctly. None of the neighboring villages were even rained on, not even Lenox which was like two miles away. So the power is real. Not good, not bad, real.
Anyway, the person who I am now could never give that power over to him. I understand this because of the people I know who did and the transformation they made so people like me could understand. I understand why they did though and I know I would have enjoyed it in its heyday. But the time of the guru is over.
Yesterday I read the first part of Don Stapleton's book, Self Awakening Yoga. The first part gives an overview of his relationship with Kripalu Yoga, Amrit Desai, and his discovery of inner truth. I also found this cool blog entry written by someone who lived at the ashram for a little while in her early twenties as things were crumbling. http://datinggod.typepad.com/katherineturner/2005/10/shram_living_oc.html
Both writers talk about how even though their experience at the ashram was powerful, Amrit was encouraging each one of them to deny their inner truth in some way. The type of yoga inherently opens up inner truth and it's the practice that's true. Whatever doesn't fit with that truth crumbles automatically, and thus the guru fell from power.
Now when I think of Kripalu yoga I think of it as a system that helps the practitioner learn to listen within and cultivate that open flow of energy for themselves. I loved the metaphor that Don shares in his book. With the more formulaic yogas out there, the postures are 'performed'. This is like coloring in a coloring book. So it looks great and feels great but developmentally will only get you so far. A true Kripalu yoga practice is like learning to draw. It takes some time to cultivate the inner knowledge and it may not be as triumphant at first, but the outcome (the freehand drawing) is a much clearer reflection of the truth inside, a clearer reflection of the struggle that creates a mastery of will.
I've met so many 'spiritual people' who are totally fine being spiritual and blissed out as long as their comfort zone is being reinforced. But reality is reality. What needs to crumble crumbles on its own. Like it or not, reality is always showing up as a reflection of what's going on inside. Self awareness helps this be less of a challenge. Truly welcoming any perceived obstacles as self lessens the chance that there will be room for the obstacle to happen again.
Yoga is the practice that dissolves the illusion of separation. I notice when I practice more, everything seems so magical, synchronistic and interconnected. EVERYTHING on the 'outside' is a reflection of the inner world, including all of the people you don't like and the problems you are having. They are all teachers, pointers to what you are ready to look at in your inner world.
And in the 'outer world', earth, lots of things aren't working for us individually. The world changes within our hearts. As we do what works for us, and as we choose not to do what doesn't work for us, the world changes, automatically. What is no longer needed automatically crumbles.
We are all limitlessly creative, limitlessly healing and healed.
I believe in you.
We do it together, guided by the light of the truth inside.
Thank you for showing me myself.
Kripalu.
I didn't originally understand this word, this yoga. All I knew is it was the only style of yoga available to me in mid-MO that seemed more profound than 'just exercise'. I remember taking my first Kripalu style class and being shocked that we didn't even do one downward-facing dog. I didn't know what to think but I was compelled by the peace I was coming to in my body and I found myself curiously inquiring into the memories my body was releasing as a result of the practice. As the practice took me deeper into myself and letting go of (spiritual/emotional/physical) pain I carried, I was so compelled that I actually went to live at the Kripalu Center for a more intensive study. Learning to be my own guru was not easy at first. I wanted someone to give me answers. I wanted someone to see me better than I could see myself. But instead of being told what to do I was listened to and encouraged to listen to myself. Now that I am continually searching for a yoga community in the huge metro-area of Kansas City that's exactly what I'm not finding-a teacher who gives me space to listen to myself. Now I can't believe my good fortune that I was able to find an active Kripalu community in Columbia, MO.
I think it's interesting the way opposites tend to be related. I love being around people in a process of dealing or healing because I enjoy seeing how the type of healing is related to the scar. How the magnitude of healing corresponds with the amount of pain. Something like trauma or addiction is a huge blessing in this way and some of the most powerfully loving and inspiring yogis I know are those who have overcome addiction or explored trauma as a part of their life's calling. It goes the other way too, of course. Some of the most awake and aware people I know also have a huge unawareness, a blind spot.
I've recently become curious, moreso than usual, about the Kripalu stories from the ashram days. Back then the guru wasn't the Self, it was Amrit Desai, a very powerful man who channels quite a bit of shakti. The practices of yoga allow us to cultivate and carry large amounts of voltage and he carried so much that people loved him and felt seen and loved by him in a way that was very universally powerful and healing for them but also put them under his power. This much power, without self awareness, can get unwieldy. Ultimately I believe Kripalu overcame this scar and this is why communication and self-awareness are hallmarks of the practice. So the scar was a blessing. When I think about my relationship with my Kripalu lineage, I feel the power of Swami Kripalu's blessing on the lineage and on the world, not the charisma that Amrit attempted to inflict on it.
I don't have much firsthand knowledge of Amrit. I will say though that I was living in the building when he passed through for a visit. It was 2009 and he hadn't been there since 1995 when he was kicked out for taking advantage of his role as guru. On this particular day I was just minding my own business, hanging out in my dorm. There was not a chance I could have known Amrit was coming, as it was a near-impossibility. But suddenly I 'needed' to go to the cafe. I grabbed my computer, and went there even though I didn't know why. Then I 'needed' to fill my waterbottle. My body walked to the water fountain and I was fascinated by how these mundane tasks seemed so meaningful. Suddenly I looked up to my left and there he was! Flanked by his wife and Dinabhandu who was the ceo at the time. I thought to myself, "Holy shit, that's Amrit Desai!" He was a radiant old man and it was unmistakeably him. I gazed at him and he gazed at me. For maybe five seconds. Afterward, it felt like I had been filled with some powerful wattage. I buzzed for the rest of the day and it took me a long time to fall asleep that night. So that was from the most miniscule interaction. I feel the surge of energy just from writing about it! I can't even imagine how powerful it must have felt like to be his disciple. Also, what it must feel like to carry around that much intense power that is so influenced by intention and attention. Anyway, the whole of Kripalu felt the intensity of the visit because he brought with him a storm. An intense storm that flooded the basement of the huge guest center and knocked down a very old tree, if I remember correctly. None of the neighboring villages were even rained on, not even Lenox which was like two miles away. So the power is real. Not good, not bad, real.
Anyway, the person who I am now could never give that power over to him. I understand this because of the people I know who did and the transformation they made so people like me could understand. I understand why they did though and I know I would have enjoyed it in its heyday. But the time of the guru is over.
Yesterday I read the first part of Don Stapleton's book, Self Awakening Yoga. The first part gives an overview of his relationship with Kripalu Yoga, Amrit Desai, and his discovery of inner truth. I also found this cool blog entry written by someone who lived at the ashram for a little while in her early twenties as things were crumbling. http://datinggod.typepad.com/katherineturner/2005/10/shram_living_oc.html
Both writers talk about how even though their experience at the ashram was powerful, Amrit was encouraging each one of them to deny their inner truth in some way. The type of yoga inherently opens up inner truth and it's the practice that's true. Whatever doesn't fit with that truth crumbles automatically, and thus the guru fell from power.
Now when I think of Kripalu yoga I think of it as a system that helps the practitioner learn to listen within and cultivate that open flow of energy for themselves. I loved the metaphor that Don shares in his book. With the more formulaic yogas out there, the postures are 'performed'. This is like coloring in a coloring book. So it looks great and feels great but developmentally will only get you so far. A true Kripalu yoga practice is like learning to draw. It takes some time to cultivate the inner knowledge and it may not be as triumphant at first, but the outcome (the freehand drawing) is a much clearer reflection of the truth inside, a clearer reflection of the struggle that creates a mastery of will.
I've met so many 'spiritual people' who are totally fine being spiritual and blissed out as long as their comfort zone is being reinforced. But reality is reality. What needs to crumble crumbles on its own. Like it or not, reality is always showing up as a reflection of what's going on inside. Self awareness helps this be less of a challenge. Truly welcoming any perceived obstacles as self lessens the chance that there will be room for the obstacle to happen again.
Yoga is the practice that dissolves the illusion of separation. I notice when I practice more, everything seems so magical, synchronistic and interconnected. EVERYTHING on the 'outside' is a reflection of the inner world, including all of the people you don't like and the problems you are having. They are all teachers, pointers to what you are ready to look at in your inner world.
And in the 'outer world', earth, lots of things aren't working for us individually. The world changes within our hearts. As we do what works for us, and as we choose not to do what doesn't work for us, the world changes, automatically. What is no longer needed automatically crumbles.
We are all limitlessly creative, limitlessly healing and healed.
I believe in you.
We do it together, guided by the light of the truth inside.
Thank you for showing me myself.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Why "Dream Yoga"
A dear friend and Yoga Nidra peer, Nick, recently asked me about the name Dream Yoga. The name infers the possibility that I am creating a new kind of yoga. I understand the name could be interpreted many ways. Here is why I went with "Dream Yoga":
During the 13 months that I lived at the Kripalu Center, I stuck an A between the Dre M on my nametag and for some people my name ended up simply being Dream. Around that time, my already profound dreaming practice dramatically increased, which became a beacon for my internal development. I wrote all my dreams and began to understand a subtle language they were sharing with me.
In 2009 when I approached Richard Miller to ask to study with him, he looked at my nametag and said, "Ha, Dream! Of course, come study with me." Yoga Nidra is a practice that takes place in some dream states. To those who know me and my yoga practice, they always seem surprised that I'm not sharing more Yoga Nidra in my teaching. No one else has brought it to Kansas City either. I made a shift recently when I realized that I've been kind of doing my own thing as a yoga teacher, but there still has been a sense that I'm trying to be the kind of yoga teacher that people expect. I recently realized there are hundreds of teachers here to fill that role (which is a wonderful role) but that I'm supposed to do what what makes my practice specifically mine. And the most I can say about that in this moment is that Yoga Nidra is one practice that I keep developing, exploring and seeking out as I continue my education.
One main theme in my inquiry over the years, it seems, keeps bringing me to the space between reality and illusion. Questioning what is real. The things I think are real aren't. So I gradually travel through a slow letting go of the illusion of reality while simultaneously living a 'householder's existence' in the everyday world that is shared by everyone, not just monks and shamen. The funny thing is when I let go of what's 'real' the reality that happens to me is so outrageous that I couldn't possibly make it up. But that's the magic of yoga, shit gets weird, but shit gets real. We have access to the truth that takes ourselves there.
As Donna Eden said when she looked up at my energy field, "You ARE a Dream!"
So I called what I'm doing Dream Yoga because I am the Dream. But if I'm creating something new I don't know about it yet.
During the 13 months that I lived at the Kripalu Center, I stuck an A between the Dre M on my nametag and for some people my name ended up simply being Dream. Around that time, my already profound dreaming practice dramatically increased, which became a beacon for my internal development. I wrote all my dreams and began to understand a subtle language they were sharing with me.
In 2009 when I approached Richard Miller to ask to study with him, he looked at my nametag and said, "Ha, Dream! Of course, come study with me." Yoga Nidra is a practice that takes place in some dream states. To those who know me and my yoga practice, they always seem surprised that I'm not sharing more Yoga Nidra in my teaching. No one else has brought it to Kansas City either. I made a shift recently when I realized that I've been kind of doing my own thing as a yoga teacher, but there still has been a sense that I'm trying to be the kind of yoga teacher that people expect. I recently realized there are hundreds of teachers here to fill that role (which is a wonderful role) but that I'm supposed to do what what makes my practice specifically mine. And the most I can say about that in this moment is that Yoga Nidra is one practice that I keep developing, exploring and seeking out as I continue my education.
One main theme in my inquiry over the years, it seems, keeps bringing me to the space between reality and illusion. Questioning what is real. The things I think are real aren't. So I gradually travel through a slow letting go of the illusion of reality while simultaneously living a 'householder's existence' in the everyday world that is shared by everyone, not just monks and shamen. The funny thing is when I let go of what's 'real' the reality that happens to me is so outrageous that I couldn't possibly make it up. But that's the magic of yoga, shit gets weird, but shit gets real. We have access to the truth that takes ourselves there.
As Donna Eden said when she looked up at my energy field, "You ARE a Dream!"
So I called what I'm doing Dream Yoga because I am the Dream. But if I'm creating something new I don't know about it yet.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Why there is no goal in yoga.
The progress isn't recorded physically. There is no physical goal in a yoga class. If there is, chances are it's not actually a yoga class but just an exercise class that uses yoga postures. Not that there's anything wrong with that but here's the difference:
Through cultivation of self-awareness, the practioner becomes more attuned to his or her specific needs in every moment. This is a skill that can be cultivated. In this attitude, something like diet needs no doctrine because if you are truly listening to yourself, you will absolutely give yourself the amount and type of fuel you need. There is no book or process to follow. When people (myself included) are calm and centered, they are less likely to overeat and less likely to eat things that are destructive. So is a piece of chocolate cake destructive? Depends on if it is being eaten out of self-care or self-contempt. Its healing properties are dependent on the situation. All food is like this actually. If you are stressed out and going a million miles a minute and can't feel grounded (this quality is vata see: ayurveda), it would be a terrible idea to eat a food that is cool and dry (vata): crackers, salad, etc. Whereas if you are feeling sluggish (kapha), salad may be a great choice. Understanding how to be present with every decision as each decision arises is key. There is no objective nutritional truth. Except when things aren't food, aren't born of earth and water and sunlight. I would probably make an exception there and go ahead and say don't eat that.
It is this way with exercise as well. Most health issues are caused by stress. So again, the decision and awareness must be made. Is the decision to exercise being made out of love or fear? In any given moment, what is really needed? Some days more vigorous exercise, some days not. But it's through honing the inner compass that the decision can be made. Again, if you are already frantic, frantic exercise may make you more frantic. Balance is always what ultimately maintains health. And here what I've noticed in myself and others is that exercise and the physical benefit of yoga is a side effect rather than a goal. When I am centered and spacious (and yoga gives me the technology to do this) I feel relaxed and able to enjoy what is surrounding me. I'm more likely to use my energy effectively and this includes exercising if that's what is needed. So rather than sitting on the couch saying "I really should exercise" it's more like, "Wow I'm glad to be alive, getting my heart pumping by taking a walk or a jog sounds really great right now." Also, incidentally a nice slow yoga practice makes running feel effortless.
This all may seem really subtle but this is the true difference between knowing and trusting yourself and not. Intrinsic knowledge vs. extrinsic. Extrinsic is easier because will is difficult to cultivate. I attended public school and on the things we could cheat on, we never learned anything. But on the writing projects or art projects, it couldn't be faked, we either tried and it showed or we didn't. And I still remember those projects.
People are constantly telling us what to eat and what to do and what to believe. But don't you think ultimately, even though it may be harder getting there, that if your inner compass is utterly unshakeable that you might save a bunch of time searching? Yoga is not a religion but it is a set of experimental guidelines. It's basically set up to be like, "Hey, this has worked for us for like 5000 years, maybe it will for you or maybe not." The Yamas and Niyamas are two of the eight branches of ashtanga yoga (physical postures make up just one of the branches) and they translate into 'restraints' and 'observances'. It's lifestyle guidelines that resemble the 10 commandments in places. Here's the thing though. Ten commandments say, "Don't lie or you'll go to hell." Yamas would say, "Well, you can lie if you want to, but it will probably use up a lot of your energy covering up for the lie. Try it and find out for yourself." In yoga the technology constantly brings the practitioner back to connection with self and the world and supports a clear, easy flow of life. Yamas and Niyamas are guidelines to help support that connection. In this end I would also say that it's more like "Original Separation" rather than "Original Sin". We get separated from our true selves by the illusion of single moment awareness, i.e. time. But I'll write another article about this later.
So here is my point. All these little examples may seem subtle but in the bigger picture all of these yoga practices are experiements about life. And in life, no circumstance on the 'outside' needs to change in order for things to be 'better'. The concept that anything--any person, any circumstance--is separate from self, is a total illusion. 'Self' itself is a total illusion.
As change happens inside, change happens outside. Just watch, you'll see.
Through cultivation of self-awareness, the practioner becomes more attuned to his or her specific needs in every moment. This is a skill that can be cultivated. In this attitude, something like diet needs no doctrine because if you are truly listening to yourself, you will absolutely give yourself the amount and type of fuel you need. There is no book or process to follow. When people (myself included) are calm and centered, they are less likely to overeat and less likely to eat things that are destructive. So is a piece of chocolate cake destructive? Depends on if it is being eaten out of self-care or self-contempt. Its healing properties are dependent on the situation. All food is like this actually. If you are stressed out and going a million miles a minute and can't feel grounded (this quality is vata see: ayurveda), it would be a terrible idea to eat a food that is cool and dry (vata): crackers, salad, etc. Whereas if you are feeling sluggish (kapha), salad may be a great choice. Understanding how to be present with every decision as each decision arises is key. There is no objective nutritional truth. Except when things aren't food, aren't born of earth and water and sunlight. I would probably make an exception there and go ahead and say don't eat that.
It is this way with exercise as well. Most health issues are caused by stress. So again, the decision and awareness must be made. Is the decision to exercise being made out of love or fear? In any given moment, what is really needed? Some days more vigorous exercise, some days not. But it's through honing the inner compass that the decision can be made. Again, if you are already frantic, frantic exercise may make you more frantic. Balance is always what ultimately maintains health. And here what I've noticed in myself and others is that exercise and the physical benefit of yoga is a side effect rather than a goal. When I am centered and spacious (and yoga gives me the technology to do this) I feel relaxed and able to enjoy what is surrounding me. I'm more likely to use my energy effectively and this includes exercising if that's what is needed. So rather than sitting on the couch saying "I really should exercise" it's more like, "Wow I'm glad to be alive, getting my heart pumping by taking a walk or a jog sounds really great right now." Also, incidentally a nice slow yoga practice makes running feel effortless.
This all may seem really subtle but this is the true difference between knowing and trusting yourself and not. Intrinsic knowledge vs. extrinsic. Extrinsic is easier because will is difficult to cultivate. I attended public school and on the things we could cheat on, we never learned anything. But on the writing projects or art projects, it couldn't be faked, we either tried and it showed or we didn't. And I still remember those projects.
People are constantly telling us what to eat and what to do and what to believe. But don't you think ultimately, even though it may be harder getting there, that if your inner compass is utterly unshakeable that you might save a bunch of time searching? Yoga is not a religion but it is a set of experimental guidelines. It's basically set up to be like, "Hey, this has worked for us for like 5000 years, maybe it will for you or maybe not." The Yamas and Niyamas are two of the eight branches of ashtanga yoga (physical postures make up just one of the branches) and they translate into 'restraints' and 'observances'. It's lifestyle guidelines that resemble the 10 commandments in places. Here's the thing though. Ten commandments say, "Don't lie or you'll go to hell." Yamas would say, "Well, you can lie if you want to, but it will probably use up a lot of your energy covering up for the lie. Try it and find out for yourself." In yoga the technology constantly brings the practitioner back to connection with self and the world and supports a clear, easy flow of life. Yamas and Niyamas are guidelines to help support that connection. In this end I would also say that it's more like "Original Separation" rather than "Original Sin". We get separated from our true selves by the illusion of single moment awareness, i.e. time. But I'll write another article about this later.
So here is my point. All these little examples may seem subtle but in the bigger picture all of these yoga practices are experiements about life. And in life, no circumstance on the 'outside' needs to change in order for things to be 'better'. The concept that anything--any person, any circumstance--is separate from self, is a total illusion. 'Self' itself is a total illusion.
As change happens inside, change happens outside. Just watch, you'll see.
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